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FRESH INTERVIEWS

6/13/05 ::: INTERVIEW WITH PAUL FEIG

Creator of the hit TV show, Freaks and Geeks, Paul is also an actor, director and author of two books of personal essays -- Kick Me - Adventures in Adolescence and coming any day now, Superstud: Or How I Became a 24-year-old Virgin.

FRESH YARN contributor, Paul Feig talks to fellow TV writer/producer and FRESH YARN contributor, Maxine Lapiduss about his new book Superstud: Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin.

ML: You've written extensively about your Freakiness and Geekiness for TV, in personal essays, film, and books. How did you figure out your niche? When did it dawn on you that this was a viable artistic and lucrative theme to explore?

PF: I spent so many years as an aspiring writer under the illusion that to be a true writer, you had to write about things that had nothing to do with you and your life, that you had to make everything up and that to use anything or anyone from your real life was cheating. And because of that I produced some of the most soulless, stilted writing the world has ever seen. I created characters and situations which I had no take on and so I wrote these ridiculous scripts and stories that were filled with characters based on characters I had seen in other people's work and in whatever version of their reality I could make up in my head. It wasn't until I decided that I needed to write a low budget film, so that I could fund and direct it myself, that I had my first breakthrough.

The movie idea I had was about Death and what would happen if the Grim Reaper decided he wanted to quit his job. Not a terribly original idea but it appealed to me because I saw it as a way to address some subjects I had an interest in and things I wanted to say about life and humans. And so I decided to base the character of Death on myself. I figured that it would be funny if Death was just sort of an awkward, nerdy, opinionated guy who was trying to figure out his place in the world. And suddenly I wrote this script and it came out of me in a less painful way than scripts had normally come out of me (to be honest, I had rarely even finished a script because I would strand myself in a world I had no take on, and so the story would just peter out as I lost interest in it). And then when people read it, they actually liked it. I didn't end up getting to make the film because it was too expensive, but it didn't matter. I suddenly felt connected to the material, and the fact that people really related to it made me feel like I might be on to something. Maybe my belief that real writers didn't write about themselves wasn't true.

I wrote another low budget script that this time was really low budget. And to make it that low budget, I decided to write it for myself and a few of my friends to star in (I also decided that the film should take place in one day on one location to keep the costs really low). And because of this, I found myself writing even more about myself and my hopes and fears and then channeling other parts of my personality into the other characters. I then used the personalities of the people who were going to be in the movie with me to make their characters more real and honest. And even though the movie was made and the quality of it is questionable, the thing that came out of it was my confidence to tell stories that were close to me and my life. At the end of the day, I realized that these were stories I had a take on and, more importantly, that I could write and actually finish!

And this was what led me to write the spec pilot script for Freaks and Geeks (which I wrote when I was out on a Midwestern college tour with the above movie, which was called Life Sold Separately). And now it seems that I can't STOP writing about myself and my geekiness. It's a short road from a creative breakthrough to flogging a dead horse.

ML: Is it pleasurable for you to write? If not, what compels you to do it? What form do you like best -- TV, essays...etc?

PF: That's a hard question to answer honestly. As I sit here now, I can easily say that I love writing. But when I'm starting a project or stuck in the day to day problems that arise whenever any of us put pen to paper, I really hate it. But then when it's finished, I can say that I love writing again. And so my motto seems to be the following:

"I hate writing. I love having written."

As far as my favorite form to write in, that is also hard to answer honestly. I think that I like writing prose and essays more than I like writing scripts, but when I'm having a good burst on a script, it's more fun than anything to me. It's just that those good moments come few and far between. It's like a day of script writing is sitting around trying to get yourself to have a few good bursts of energy and creativity. The rest is all browbeating and confidence-crushing as you sit there and say, "I have no idea what I'm doing and this is the project where everyone's gonna figure out that I'm a total fraud." And then you have a good burst and you feel better until you push your luck and try to have more good bursts than your brain will give you that day. Then you end the day on the down note of "Man, I suck" and "I just wasted an entire day."

But I guess if writing was fun, everybody would be doing it. Oh, wait. Everybody IS doing it!

ML: What's the best advice for people trying to find their voice thru writing? How do you tell someone how to find it?

PF: You just have to put yourself in the situations your characters are in, if you're writing fiction or screenplays. It's like before I figured out that it wasn't cheating to use your life and your experiences in your writing, I would try to write science fiction (hey, I TOLD you I was a geek). But I would always make the characters so out of any reality I knew because they were in such absurd situations. But then I realized that even if the situation and circumstances your characters are in are nothing you've ever been through, you still have to put yourself in those situations and figure out what you would do.

This doesn't mean that every character has to do what you would do. Otherwise you'd obviously have a story filled with clones. But you have to divide up the different parts of your personality and sprinkle them around on all your characters. Then, even if you're writing a villain who does things you would never in your life do, you can get inside his head and try to meld your decision making processes and your beliefs and insecurities into the personality of this fictional character and then hopefully what will come out the other side is something fresh and surprising, both to you and your audience.

It all goes back to one of the things I always climb on the soapbox about and have since I was at USC film school back in the 1980s. I was surrounded by film students who would all watch movies all day long, every day, and who were obsessed with movies. And that was obviously fine (why else would you go to film school?). But then what would happen is that people would write scripts and talk about their characters and plots based on all the movies they had seen in their lives. And so you'd hear that one character was a lot like this one character from some famous movie, and that another character was like a character from another movie, and that the story was inspired by the plot of yet another movie. And so what you end up reading is all this recycled reality. In fact, it wasn't even recycled reality. It was a recycling of a recycling of a recycling. People were (and still are, it seems) telling stories based on stories that were told by people who had based their storytelling on the stories of others who had perhaps told stories based on other people's stories. I'm not saying this is completely wrong. It's okay to be inspired by things. What I'm saying is that if you're basing characters and their specific actions on stories that have already existed, you're giving up having a fresh take on the human condition. You're basing the decisions and actions of your characters on the decisions of other writers. We're all susceptible to it. We've all been so inundated by movies and TV that when we come up with a plot and a character has to react to something, a lot of times our first instinct is to have that character do something we've seen other characters do in other movies. It's then that I always try to stop myself and say, "Wait, would I REALLY do that if I was that character?" And more often than not, I discover that, no, I wouldn't react like that. I'd do the complete opposite. Or I'd do something that even I'm surprised at.

My feeling is that if you're doing nothing but seeing movies and TV and basing your creative decision making on things you've seen, you should instead of going to the movies one day head down to the bus station. Or downtown. Or some neighborhood you never in your life considered going to. And there you should look around and see what people are doing and how they're reacting to things and what conditions they're living under. Whenever I do that, I almost always come away with a new idea or take on something, no matter how small it is. Our job as artists is to try to show the human condition in all its forms and to try to get people to relate to each other and to not feel so separate from the group. Granted, we also have to write things that sell, but I feel that if we do things that are really different and still interesting, then the people in charge will respond.

Or if they don't, at least you don't have to feel like a total sellout! Oh, you might not make your rent, but your self-respect will be intact.

I don't think I'm giving out very good advice here.


ML: Anything you want people to know about your new book coming out, Superstud?

PF: It's really embarrassing. There are stories I tell in there that as I was writing them I kept asking myself, "What in the world are you writing that for?" But my goal was to a) make people laugh, and b) maybe make some people say "I've done THAT but I always thought I was the only one." The only danger with this is that people might not do "b" and instead say, "Wow, what a freak that guy is. I think I need to poke my eyes out now."

Stories about sex, the fear of sex, bad dating, unsuccessful relationships, and ill-conceived acts of onanism fill Superstud.
Enjoy.


ML: What names were you tortured by as a kid? With Feig I'm sure there were some doozies. (Probably nothing as bad as turning Maxine Lapiduss into Maxi-pad LaPenis!)

PF: Maxine, my heart goes out to you. The top contenders in my life were "Fig Newton," as in the fruit-filled cookie, and everyone's favorite, Paul Fag. A name I really don't like is "Feigster." Don't know why that bugs me but it does. But as a kid, when your name is only two letters off from a slur against homosexuals, the local bully doesn't have to invest too much time and effort in coming up with ways to insult you. If only I had grown up in London. Then my nickname would simply have been slang for a cigarette.

Paul Feig created and co-executive produced NBC's acclaimed show Freaks and Geeks which garnered him nominations for two comedy writing Emmy Awards. He wrote, produced and directed the independent feature film entitled Life Sold Separately, which played on the festival circuit and recently finished writing and directing his second feature film entitled I Am David, which will be released October 8th.

As an actor, Paul was a series regular on Sabrina the Teenage Witch as well as several other television shows including Dirty Dancing, Good Sports, The Jackie Thomas Show and The Louie Show. Film credits include Tom Hanks' That Thing You Do. Feig has recently been directing episodes of Fox's hit series, Arrested Development, as well as being the author of Kick Me - Adventures in Adolescence, published by Random House. His second book, Superstud: Too Much Information About the Author, will be released in the summer of 2005, as well as writing and directing a feature film adaptation of the young adult book Stargirl for Paramount Studio/Nickelodeon.

Maxine Lapiduss is an entertainer, TV comedy writer/producer, and now, "Reality Show Diva." Beginning July 27th, Maxine is one of the stars in an 8-hour reality series for Bravo called Situation: Comedy -- a documentary in the style of Project Green Light about writing and producing sitcoms. Sean Hayes (Will and Grace) created the series.

Maxine has written and produced some of the most popular half hour comedies of the past decade including the final season of Ellen (Three Emmy nominations), Roseanne, (Emmy nomination as Best Comedy Series and a Golden Globe award the years Maxine was there), Home Improvement (People's Choice Award for Best Comedy Series) and the last season of Dharma and Greg, to name a few. Her live show, SITUATION TRAGEDY: Observations on 10 years in Hollywood...with Bongos, wowed critics and audiences alike. It ran to sold-out houses in Hollywood, won fourteen Dramalogue Awards, and was nominated for an Ovation Award (The LA "Obie") for best New Musical.

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6/14/05 ::: INTERVIEW WITH JENNIFER LEHR AND BETT WILLIAMS

One day, two Los Feliz locals were walking in the hills of Griffith Park not too far from the Hollywood sign. Jennifer Lehr was going down the hill. Bett Williams was going up. Jennifer's dog Billie got the two strangers talking. As it turns out, they had a lot to talk about. Both have new memoirs out. And both write about sex in brutally honest and refreshing ways. They continue their conversation here:

JL: Your first book, Girl Walking Backwards, is a novel. Your next, The Wresting Party is a memoir. Why the different genres?

BW: When I first started writing seriously in my mid-20s, I had an idea that books had to be very "literate" in a way that was somewhat academic. Academic meaning liberal arts college-ish. Thus, GWB was a very straightforward novel. By the time I got to The Wrestling Party I'd let go of those constraints.

JL: We came to writing memoirs from totally opposite directions. I was in art school frustrated that I couldn't say exactly what I wanted to within the constraints of more visual work so I turned to writing. My first project/book 78 Drawings of my Face was 500 pages of stream-of-consciousness writing inside a highly conceptual package. I had no intentions of writing a literary novel of any kind. And then with Ill-Equipped for a Life of Sex, I found that I wanted to write a more conventional book-one that could be read from start to finish, with a clearer point of view.

Now for an abrupt segue: I love how you write about sex/desire: straightforwardly. It can be terrible, erotic, interesting, boring, awkward etc. but you don't try to eroticize or romanticize it. Thank you.

BW: Sex is so often ignored, hammered with poetic metaphor or turned into erotica. I don't like erotica. For me, writing about sex is a way to get to all those deeper truths that go beyond the superficial titillation of the sex itself. Sex is a mirror for EVERYTHING that's going on. That's one of the main themes of your book, right?

JL: Gosh, so well put. I think erotica/romanticized writing about sex not only hides truth but ultimately can make people miserable because it warps expectations about sex and relationships. Yes I write about problems with sex as being symptoms of other problems: terrible communication, depression, anxiety, money and those warped expectations I just mentioned.

What are you thoughts about writing explicitly about other people in non-fiction?

BW: The Wrestling Party has a scene where a friend of mine is tied up in a hammock and she pees on my tile floor. People often assume I'm disclosing everything. I'm actually quite careful. I leave a lot out. I don't know if it's an ethical thing or I'm afraid they won't like me or be mad at me. I guess every writer has their own barometer of how honest they are ready to be. Full disclosure doesn't always necessarily equal honesty. It's a fine line. It seems though, with your work, your emotional honesty comes through a dedication to almost complete disclosure.

JL: Yes this is a tricky area that I've grappled with. Often one of the first questions people ask me after reading Ill-Equipped is: "What does your husband think of it?!" They can't believe that he would be ok with me telling the world he lost his sex drive for a couple of years. The truth is, not only is John incredibly supportive, he knew what he was getting into. When we first started dating he read 78 Drawings of My Face-a non-fiction work about 78 fellow students and professors-from cover to cover. And loved it. I actually mentioned on our first date that I was working on Ill-Equipped for a Life of Sex. But knowing is one thing and actually living through it is another. I did tell him that if there was anything in my book that was really uncomfortable for him that I would discuss it with him. But he was ok with all of it. As a recovering alcoholic he deals with being honest and sharing his story all of the time. He's come such a long way that he doesn't care if people know his impotency was for due to a strong cocktail of depression, anxiety, propecia, fear of intimacy. He's glad actually that it might help other people, to use the cliché, "not feel so alone." That said, he's the first to tell people that we're screwing now. I did, however, change most people's names in the book. Also, I did disguise people who I thought couldn't handle it to a greater degree than others I thought wouldn't care.

BW: Living in LA, I find myself wanting to write about celebrities but it feels too gossipy. There's this writer, Camden Joy, who takes celebrities and turns them into fictional characters. Fabulous. I'd like to be able to do that. Instead I'm stuck with the "How I came close to stealing Sophia Coppola's bathing suit" story. Writing about sex no longer makes me feel exposed, but writing about how famous people trigger this really gross desire/shame dynamic really freaks me out.

JL: It seems you've found your new topic. Are you writing something in that vein? I think I'm stuck with the mundane topic plaguing mid-thirty somethings like myself: Why have kids?

BW: From anxiety about sex to anxiety about procreation! Perfect. And no, I'm not writing seriously about celebrities yet. I'm going to try to avoid it as long as I can.


(Bett Williams, Billie and Jennifer Lehr in Griffith Park)

Jennifer Lehr made a splash in 1998 when she self-published the controversial book 78 Drawings of my Face, a no-holds-barred look at the UCLA Graduate Art School scene. She is the author of Ill-Equipped for a Life of Sex: A Memoir (ReganBooks/ HarperCollins, 2004). An Elle Magazine "Must Read," they called the book "bracing: "hilarious" "riveting" and "stunning." The book was also hailed as a "brilliant, razor-sharp read" by Us Magazine. It is coming out in paperback September 2005.

With her husband John Lehr, Jennifer is developing a television show based on Ill-Equipped for Landscape Entertainment. She and John have also recorded commentaries for NPR's All Things Considered. Jennifer is a fellow of the artist colony Yaddo. Jennifer also founded Private Edition Celebration Books in 1998, a business that creates custom-designed coffee table books/visual biographies commemorating people's lives. Subjects include legendary producer Norman Lear and visionary billionaire philanthropist Eli Broad. Her Website: www.jenniferlehr.com

Bett Williams is the author of the novel Girl Walking Backwards and the memoir The Wrestling Party. She was also seen wrestling in oil on HBO's Real Sex.

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6/15/05 ::: INTERVIEW WITH LAURIE NOTARO by KATIE FORD

Laurie Notaro, author of several humorous memoirs including the best-selling Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club and Autobiography of a Fat Bride, continues her adventures in marriage, friendship, family, and the not-so-glorifying work of being on a book tour in her latest book, We Thought You'd Be Prettier: Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive.

Katie Ford, multi-talented writer (Desperate Housewives, Miss Congeniality, etc.) and FRESH YARN contributor asks Laurie some questions.

KF: Laurie, you are currently on tour for your new book. For those who've never done it, what is a book tour like?

LN: Well, to sum it up nicely, I once had a radio host tell me sympathetically, "There's nothing worse than a book tour -- except no book tour." It's a necessary evil. Most people think that authors zip around the country in First Class, get waited on hand and foot and when they're not meeting their armies of fans, spend time getting hot rock massages and pedicures, eating lobster in bed and attending parades held in their honor. Unless you're Dan "DaVinci Code" Brown or Danielle Steel, that's a bigger myth than eating a ball of mozzarella will make you skinny. First of all, I have feet like a hobbit so nobody is getting their hands on my little piggies, and second of all, there's not enough time to floss properly, let alone go to a spa, and if you DO have spare time, it's wisest to spend it washing your dirty underwear out in the sink. You spend most of your time eating cold eggs in room service, standing in airport security lines, waiting for planes, sitting next to someone in coach who has no boundaries concerning personal space, and then going to bookstore after bookstore in each city to sign stock. That's your whole day. But then, the payoff is at night at an event. For me, it's probably comparable to childbirth -- it's a pain in the ass to get there, you're swollen, puffy and cranky and you've probably vomited at least once that day, but then you get to meet all of these cool girls who come to the readings and could all be your friends. The girls rock. We have a great time at the readings, I tell stories, they tell stories, sometimes there is song, we laugh and then there's usually dessert. I love meeting them -- how can you not love someone that drives seven hours and has blown off a final to come to a reading? Usually, there are a bunch of people that I've corresponded with over the years -- some from when I was a columnist at the ASU college newspaper -- so I know them, we've just never met. It's incredible. There's nothing like it. Of course, then you always have the reading when nobody or one person shows up, and she just got caught sitting in one of the chairs to flip through a Nora Roberts book when the reading starts, and then the bookstore manager makes some employees come and sit down, too, so you don't feel quite so much like setting yourself on fire. There's always at least one reading like that each tour. THE READING WHEN NOBODY CAME.

KF: How do your friends and family react to being written about? Are they blindly flattered or litigiously outraged? (or something in between).

LN: Well, typically, everyone is a good sport. Sometimes. Part of the time. It depends. The person I always run everything by before I hand the manuscript in is Jamie, my best friend. If she doesn't okay the pieces that she's in, I won't use them. That's never happened, because I always read her the pieces when she's drunk so she's always game (kidding), but there are other people who have some problems with some of the stuff that's in there. Like my mother. When my second book came out, there's a mention of a scare I had with VD, but I justified writing about it because I didn't actually have VD; it was merely a "VD Scare." But months had gone by and she never said anything, and I figured, well, it will take her a good chunk of time to finish that Rosie O'Donnell book in her bathroom since she only reads it five minutes at a time, so I'm safe for at least a few years before she moves on to my book -- but the one day she called me and said, "You had sex with that animal you brought over here the one day? I HOPE you caught a filthy disease. You were NAKED with that animal?" Frankly, I needed to be institutionalized after that phone call, I mean, that violated so many sacred boundaries that I should have rightfully spontaneously combusted. I did find out that my mother tells her friends that I "exaggerate" about her in the books (particularly her QVC "problem") and that I have a "very vivid imagination," and I had to confront her and say, "Stop saying that! People are going to think that I'm lying and we both know I'm not. So if you keep telling your church friends that I'm making this up, I'm showing up at your next prayer chain meeting and I'm going to take them on a QVC tour of this house and I'm not sparing anything, not the pina colada maker or the food dehydrator. You will never need that thing, you are not an astronaut!"

KF: How did you first get published? (did you self publish at one point?)

LN: I did self-publish initially -- like a million other writers out there, I found it hard to get published the first time. I had tried to get Idiot Girls published for about seven years, and for a portion of that time, I had a literary agent who couldn't find a publisher for me, either. It was tiring. One day, I was looking for a book on barnesandnoble.com and saw an ad for a publishing on demand company and I decided to look into it. I did a lot of research on them and decided that maybe this was what I needed to do to get my stuff out there. I figured that if I proved to myself it could sell and I had the numbers to back it up, maybe a traditional publisher would take a closer look instead of just sending out a rejection notice. So I did it, it cost me $99 and I marketed the hell out of it. With most publishing on demand companies, you can get your book listed on Amazon and barnesandnoble.com, so I concentrated my marketing online -- mostly at Amazon, who, at the time, had a advertising offer that worked really well for me (it's now defunct). I took an "ad" out on the pages of similar authors, and the agent of one of those authors saw my book listed on her client's page and found me through my web site. She asked for the book and signed me on after she read it. We worked on the proposal for a second book for about a month, and then we sent it out. Villard, an imprint of Random House, bought the book, Autobiography of a Fat Bride -- and the first book, The Idiot Girls' Action Adventure Club, as well -- two days later. I couldn't believe it. Overall, however, I'm really glad I spent all of those years trying to get published, because otherwise, I wouldn't have known just how lucky I was and I would have taken it for granted. I've met other authors who went on a radio show and then had a book deal a day later. That wouldn't have been good for me. In the end, I'm fortunate that my publishing story wasn't like that -- I think it was important for me to really work for it and to have those disappointments and rejections. It made me work harder and it made me really question whether I had enough belief in myself, and my book, to push it through.

KF: Have you ever drunkenly referred to yourself as a genius?

LN: No, but I have drunkenly introduced myself as "Laurie Whorie," the dignity-shattering nickname a pot-smoking slutty girl in high school attached to me. I just saw her at my high school reunion, too -- she has three soon-to-be felon children and I couldn't tell what was more fake -- her tan or her gold accouterments, both of which were embarrassingly excessive.

KF: Growing up would you say your writing and your voice was more influenced by books or television? (and which books or shows or people).

LN: Well, I was a Little House on the Prairie freak, and I read the books before there was a show -- that made me want to become a writer, but seeing the show made me something of a spaz, which was a sad indication of the path the rest of my life would take. When I was little, I wanted button up boots so bad that I took a butter knife and unscrewed the blades from ice skates and wore them as boots. With a sunbonnet I forced my mother to make me. My mother said the neighbors were beginning to think I was a Quaker, so I was only allowed to wear my Little House outfit in the backyard. However, I don't think that had a lot of influence on my voice as a writer -- probably watching Rhoda had more of an influence -- I wanted to be just like her and wear gauchos and head scarves (on the days I wasn't wearing a sunbonnet and ice skates). Overall, I don't really know where my voice came from -- it's really just the way I talk to my friends. I know that's cheating, but it's true.

KF: I think you are brilliant. (That isn't really a question but here's a question mark to make it look like it is)? Thank you for your time? I can't wait to read your new book?

LN: I think you're brilliant, Katie Ford. I really, really, really hope that someday we get to work together. I think that would rock, because usually, I don't want to work with anybody. Anyway. Continued massive success on DH, and let's keep in touch. Gotta go. My cat just peed in a box of credit cards bills. Holy fuck. Little asshole.
Many many thanks,
laurie

Why not check out all of Laurie's books?

For more info on Laurie, go to her website www.laurienotaro.com

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6/16/05 ::: LORI GOTTLIEB and ANDREA SEIGEL

Lori Gottlieb, FRESH YARN contributor and author of several books including the national bestseller, Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self, talks with Andrea Seigel, author of Like the Red Panda, which Publishers Weekly calls, "Astute, confident and keenly articulated."

LG: Your first novel, LIKE THE RED PANDA, is about a smart, eccentric, suicidal high school senior in Orange County who's headed for Princeton. You grew up in Orange County and wrote the book as a college student at Brown. In fact, you set the book at your real-life high school, without changing the school's name. What elements of your own life did you use in writing this book?

AS: I guess you could say that the entire book is a love poem to suicide, which is also (and I know it sounds weird) what my life has been. Beyond that, there are tons of episodes in the book taken from experience -- the opening scene that has Stella being forced to throw an "invisible" beach ball up and down in drama class, that came from this one time my parents signed me up for summerstock. They made me play fake tennis there. And I wasn't "keeping my eye on the ball" or whatever, so I got bitched out. Then we learned how to "theater-slap," except I failed at that, too, because I left a red handprint on my teacher's face. But I like to say that PANDA is about 90% true to my life, with the remaining 10% of untruth being that my parents are still alive, that I've never gone topless in front of an AP English classmate, and I don't eat cereal.

What about your autobiographical work, especially your "autobiography of an anorexic youth," STICK FIGURE: A DIARY OF MY FORMER SELF? How much truth do you keep in your stuff, and how much is sacrificed in the name of cohesive storytelling?

LG: Wait, first: you don't eat cereal? Why not? Maybe you should write about a character who won't eat cereal. Anyway, in STICK FIGURE, it's based on my diaries from when I was 11, but because I recorded the play-by-play of every single interaction with friends, teachers, my parents, boys I liked, my shrink -- you name it -- I had to edit the entries into a cohesive narrative. So, for instance, the chapter on my first boy-girl party begins with a paragraph about the classmate I had a crush on (simply to inform the scene). But in the diaries, entries about this boy went on for months and months (and pages and pages). Also, even though the diaries are edited, I wanted to keep the voice authentic. I corrected for spelling and grammar but I tried to stay true to my language and speech patterns at 11 years old.

My mother, though, had an issue about "truth" after she read the book. There's an incident in which, after watching Charlie's Angels, I tell my parents that if the Angels thought I was too thin, I'd believe THEM, because clearly they know what thin is. So the next week Jaclyn Smith comes over to take me out. And I wrote about how I knew my brother had brought his friends over to gawk at Jaclyn Smith because all their bikes were in the driveway when we pulled up after lunch. So my mother says, "I don't think I ever let your brother's friends park their bikes in the driveway." Of all the issues she might have had with the book, THIS was her concern about verisimilitude.

But back to PANDA: I changed everyone's names except for those of my immediate family members. Did people from your high school read PANDA and recognize themselves, even though you didn't use their real names? How close were these characters to real people you went to school with? Or did it happen that you completely made up a character and somebody claimed that character as him/herself?

AS: Cereal daunts me. I'm just really turned off by the idea of eating a whole bunch of small crunchy things for a meal. I can barely deal with Skittles. I don't feel the same way about pasta because even though pasta is similarly a bunch of small things pretending to
be one bigger thing, a spoonful of macaroni and cheese will coalesce itself and at least pretend better.

I think your mom and my mom should start hanging out. Last year a reporter from a paper interviewed me and got tons of things wrong, including the actual text from my book. My mom read the article and all she said was, "Our house isn't beige!" She was pissed the woman got our exterior paint color wrong.

As for people from my high school reading the book and recognizing themselves, that's only really happened with my friends, who I made obvious on purpose as sort of a shout-out. There are two people in the book who should recognize themselves because their names are barely scrambled and I'm totally bitchy about them, but they haven't. To be even more bitchy, I suspect this is because they don't read. And then there's my high school boyfriend, Jonny, who told my friend Taryn (Jonny and I aren't in contact any more) that he "knows" the charismatic boyfriend in my book is obviously based on him. Which he's not.

Speaking of ex-boyfriends- what I really want to know from you is if you've ever been involved with someone who read your book first and then wanted to meet you because of it? Or, alternately, if you've become close with someone who's read your book after you got together, and then had a strong reaction to the "you" depicted in it?

LG: Well, once I was boarding a plane during book tour and I heard some guy yell, "STICK FIGURE! Hey, Stick Figure!" So I turn around and this guy is running toward me saying he recognized me from the book jacket but forgot my name and wanted to sit next to me on the plane. He said he's always wanted to date someone like me. It was weird, because I don't think most guys are intrigued by 11-year-old anorexic girls.

But with boyfriends, the ones who read the book before meeting me often have trouble distinguishing the preteen me from the current me. And then they're confused when I'm not that girl. Maybe even disappointed. My cynicism as an 11-year-old is funnier and easier to take than my cynicism now. But I also feel like reading the book gives boyfriends insight into why I am the way I am today. It's like the Cliff's Notes on all the stuff they missed before they met me and it informs little things like why saying, "End of discussion" makes me go Postal.

I like it best when boyfriends read the book after they've gotten to know me a bit but before they've met my parents. This way, I don't have to give them the run-down on my dysfunctional family. They've already been briefed.

While we're on family dysfunction, I'm curious: Is there anything you revealed in your book about your upbringing (despite PANDA being "fiction") that your parents were pissed about? Did they feel that since so much of the book is based on your life, their privacy might have been invaded? Were they worried, for instance, that because the main character is suicidal, other people in their community would judge them for having a "suicidal" daughter?

AS: Whoa, the plane guy must have really been staring at your author photo because it's pretty hard to recognize authors from those. That's a hardcore groupie.

To answer your question, my parents weren't really pissed about anything specific in the book (maybe this is because they don't appear in it at all) but I know my mom doesn't always love my dark subject matter. So I think she might have, at one point (although she's gotten used to it), been a little queasy about people thinking I'm depressed and suicidal, but she seems to have adjusted. At a Passover seder last week I even did an abbreviated version of my pro-suicide spiel during dinner, and she seems to have become
pretty immune to it. I think she's been far more horrified by the "embarrassing" and "unfeminine" details I've included in my nonfiction writing -- I know for a fact she was horrified when I put up an old diary entry about my childhood constipation on my website, and she totally hates it when I do tampon ad analysis. That's the stuff she gets pissed about -- I guess bodily function stuff.

Lori Gottlieb is the author of the national bestseller, Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self, an American Library Association "Best Books 2001." Lori's second book, Inside the Cult of Kibu, is an exposé of her experience as editor-in-chief of an online teen magazine that she describes as "Heathers meets Lord of the Flies."

A commentator for NPR's "All Things Considered," Lori's work has appeared in Time, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, People, Elle, Glamour, Slate, and Salon, among many others. Her personal essays appear in the anthologies This Side of Doctoring, Scoot Over Skinny, and The Modern Jewish Girl's Guide to Guilt.

You can waste a lot of time by clicking through her Website at www.lorigottlieb.com.

Andrea Seigel's debut novel, LIKE THE RED PANDA (Harcourt), came out in April 2004 and was named one of amazon.com's best ten debuts of the year. Her second book, TO FEEL STUFF, comes out (also Harcourt) in spring 2006. If katie holmes can declare that she had childhood fantasies of being with Tom Cruise and have it come true, then Andrea would like to announce that as a teen, she had fantasies of being with Trent Reznor.

6/17/05 ::: KATIE FORD

We asked multi-talented writer (Desperate Housewives, Miss Congeniality, etc.) and FRESH YARN contributor Katie Ford some questions:

FY: You started as a stand-up at a very young age, how did you make the transition from writing jokes to writing scripts?

KF: You didn't mention my illistrious minicareer as a child actress in Canada. I first wanted to (God help me) act -- so the first thing I wrote (when I was 18) was a pilot I was to star in. Shockingly, it never got off the ground, but I realized, a) I'd rather sit home and write in my sweats than have to go to a Diet Pepsi audition in a bathing suit and b) I loved writing.

FY: Do you remember who it was that first acknowledged your gift for writing? What did they say?

KF: It was a man named Joe Partington -- he produced a Canadian Sitcom (what? what are those?) and he was the first one I gave my pilot to -- he said "You are a real writer".

FY: Are you able to share of yourself through writing for TV and movies? How is the personal essay form different for you?

KF: The personal essay form is obviously the most true form. It is like the condensed version of my voice -- the other forms have the version after you add water. TV -- as a writer in episodic TV your assignemt it to write to the voice of the show or the creator of the show and lend your own voice to it. Movies are a bigger beast -- again, my goal is to lend my voice to the piece, to the story, but I am fully aware of the other components I am serving. It is rarely "this happened to me" kind of sharing of myself -- again, more of lending my voice as part of a collaboration.

FY: Has anyone ever described your work (in a review, etc.) in a way that totally missed the point or surprised you? Don't say who, but tell us what.

KF: After living through reviews by Canadian Critics (I won't say who, but her name rhymes with Antonia Zerbesias -- oh, wait, maybe that was her name), I decided not to read reviews. Although, did you see the raves I got for Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House on the Prairie? Oops, I didn't either.

FY: If E! Entertainment Television decided to turn the camera on writers and they were going to do YOUR "E True Hollywood Story," what would be something SHOCKING that they would exploit and use to get viewers to tune in?

KF: That when I was 15, Keanu Reeves wanted to date me. And I used to love the Bay City Rollers.

# # #

Katie Ford started writing for television on Family Ties. She went on to create and Executive Produce a hit series for Canadian television (she is aware that is an oxymoron). The series, Material World, won Canada's Gemini Award for Best Comedy and a Women in Film and Video Award. Katie then wrote and produced for various U.S. television shows and has written several television movies including ABC's Mary and Rhoda for Mary Tyler Moore and Valerie Harper, and Redhead:The Life of Lucille Ball for CBS.

She co-wrote the film Miss Congeniality and wrote and produced a six-hour miniseries for ABC based on the first Little House on the Prairie novel by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Katie was also recently a writer/producer on Desperate Housewives.


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